Joe Pesci [by Henancius Entertainment] Joe Pesci [by Henancius Entertainment]  



Lethal Weapon 4

aft.wav (331 kb)
  (Pesci) Ok, you did say "aft".
(Glover) A-F-T... Aft!
(Pesci) That's a fuckin' word.
(Glover) In the back of the cabin, on the right side, Leo!
(Pesci) Why didn't you say that to begin with, Roger? I love this people who get around boats and water. All of a sudden, everything becomes fuckin' nautical! Astern, avask, you land-lubbers! Man the bilge pump. Pump your fuckin' ass!
(Glover) All right, all right, Leo! All right, all right...
(Pesci) Ok, ok, ok, ok, ok... no problem, no problem, ok, ok...

barrel.wav (128 kb)
  And we are on the boat, I see this barrel coming down, ya know? Ah, ah, and... and Sergeant Murtaugh didn't see it, so I push him away. He's a big guy. I knock him over and we're in the water and I'm pulling him cause he doesn't swim good, you have to save that big guy.

blow.wav (90 kb)
  (Pesci) Why do I got to blow in your hand over there?
(Officer) I can smell it already.
(Pesci) Blow in my fuckin' ear. I told ya I didn't do it! Ok, ok, ok, ok, whatever, whatever...

camera.wav (132 kb)
  (Pesci) Twenty-seven people. Nobody thought of bringin' a camera?
(Gibson) Leo! Your plastic's flaccid...
(Pesci) These machines, they take your plastic, they wreck it, then they give you the damn camera. The camera doesn't work, you know what they're doin' here? They're just trying to...

cell.wav (152 kb)
  (Rock) I never...
(Pesci) Don't you know what they're doin', kid? Eh, that's... They fuck you with cellphones. That's what it is. They're fuckin' you with the cellphone. They love when you get cut off, you know why? Huh?! You know why? Cause when you call back, which they know you gonna do, they charge ya for that fuckin' first minute to get it at that high rate.

cell2.wav (66 kb)
  They fuck you, they fuck you, they fuck you with the cellphones. Hey, you know what happens when you go to a drive-thru? They get you in a...[cell phone rings] hold on, hold on.

dentist.wav (189 kb)
  (Pesci) What's the matter? My ass hurts. My tooth! What is this, a dentist's office or a proctologist's?
(Secretary) Just please be quiet.
(Pesci) I'm tryin', I'm in pain. Uuuhhh, aah, aahh...
(Secretary) Why don't you go see your own dentist and be quiet?
(Pesci) Dah, dah... my dentist is in Detroit or I would go!
(Secretary) Oh, brother...
(Pesci) Oh brother your ass, you go get the dentist!

dog.wav (190 kb)
  (Pesci) Very funny. I'm working on a very important P.I. case.
(Glover) The dog hired you? Ha-ha....
(Pesci) No, the dog didn't hire me. The people that lost the dog hired me.
(Gibson) Well... like a real big case.
(Pesci) It is a big case, Mr. big shot, and for all you to know, a very expensive dog, "Bolshoi".
(Glover) "Borzoi".
(Pesci) Whatever, whatever...

frog.wav (185 kb)
  You know, when I was a kid I had a pet frog. Just give me a second, let me tell you this, ok? I had this pet frog, its name was Froggy. He was my best friend in the whole world. I didn't have a lot of friends. As a matter of fact, I've had no friends.

froggy.wav (116 kb)
  It's ok. You're my family... and my friends. You're not better friends than Froggy, you're just different.

fuckface.wav (65 kb)
  (Rock) You fuckin' leprechaun!
(Pesci) Hey, I didn't call you any names, you fuckface, don't start that, ok? Don't fool around.

prvinves.wav (227 kb)
  (Pesci) Leo Getz, private investigator.
(Gibson) Private investigator?
(Pesci) Yeah.
(Gibson) Yeah, Mr. Getz, I was wondering if you'd be willing to investigate my privates.
(Pesci) Investigate what?!
(Gibson) My privates, you stupid shit. Shut the fuck up!
(Pesci) Oh, very funny, Riggs, you're costing me a lot of money here.
(Gibson) Yeah, at least three bucks.
(Pesci) Three dollars to answer a fuckin' call, they fuck me with the cellphones, now you're fuckin' me!

perp.wav (303 kb)
  (Pesci) Hey ha... hey Riggs, who is the ha... perp? What you busted him for?
(Rock) Oh, I'm a perp? Oh, you see a young brother in the back of a police car automatically I'm a perp?? Look at my suit! Look at my tie! What do I look like, the fuckin' Crips' accountant? Look at this badge, bitch. Check out the gun! License, registration...
(Pesci) Ok, ok, hey, hey, ok! Put the gun down, put the gun down!...
(Rock) License, registration, urine sample!
(Pesci) Hey, I got a badge too, ok? German Jews didn't have it any easier. So, don't think you're the only one, ok, ok?

scanners.wav (83 kb)
  (Pesci) And what about the fuckin' scanners? These idiots, they get your phone number and then they make calls for all over the world!
(Rock) Somebody took my number and called Afghanistan!

shark.wav (112 kb)
  (Pesci) And, and... and all of a sudden, this big fuckin' shark comes, you get it? I can say that, can't I?
(Reporter) You can say it but we can't air it.
(Pesci) Oh, ok. So this big darn shark comes along, ok?

smell.wav (193 kb)
  (Pesci) Ok? Eh-eh, besides, I knew you were a cop, I was only kidding with ya. Hey, I can smell a cop a mile away.
(Rock) Oh, I smell bad? What you're triyn' to say?
(Pesci) Noth... stop turning everything around, you're so damn touchy.

strip.wav (74 kb)
  (Pesci) Hey, thanks a lot you guys. Very funny, ya know. That cop had me there for an hour. He tryed to strip search me.
(Gibson) Hey, did you get his phone number?
(Pesci) Ha-ha, very funny, Riggs.

techniqu.wav (55 kb)
  (Glover) What you doin', Leo?
(Pesci) Ah, ya know, I've been perfecting my tailing technique, now that I'm a P.I. at all.

touchy.wav (61 kb)
  Yeah, you guys are always kidding. Whatever, I get it, I get it... here comes that touchy kid, I'm not here, I'm not here...

ugly.wav (79 kb)
  (Gibson) You got a permit for this?
(Pesci) I'm a P.I. now, of course I do.
(Glover) A P. what?!
(Pesci) P.I.!! A gumshoe, ya know, you get in ugly situations, I got guns and everything.

whatever.wav (49 kb)
  Ok, ok, ok, ok. Whatever, whatever...

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